I Want to Quit
By J C Fremo

I want to quit!  I spend hours and hours emailing about dogs. There may be 500 messages when I start at 4 AM, when I finally shut down the computer, there are still 500 emails to be read.

I want to quit!  Gosh, I haven't the time left to email my friends. I can't remember the last book I read, and I gave up my subscription to my local newspaper__I used to enjoy reading it, cover to cover, but now it often ends up in the bottom of the squirrel's cage___unread.

I want to quit!   I've spent days emailing what seems like everyone___trying to find a foster home, help for a dog languishing in a shelter__ but his time has run out, and the shelter has had to euthanize to make room for the next sad soul.

I want to quit!   I swear, I walk away from my computer to stretch my legs___let the dogs out___and come back to find another dog in desperate need. There are times I really dread checking my email. How will I find the funds, the help, to save yet another dog?

I want to quit!  I save one dog, and two more take its place. Now an owner who doesn't want his dog___it won't stay in his unfenced yard. An intact male wanders... This bitch got pregnant by a stray... This 3_month_old pup killed baby chicks... This person's moving and needs to give up his pet. I ask you, friends__what town, what city, what state doesn't allow you to own a pet?

I want to quit!  I just got off the phone. "Are you (Whatever) Rescue? We want to adopt a male to breed to our female." How many times do I have to explain? I have tried to explain about genetics, about health and pedigrees. I explain that rescue NEUTERS! I usually end up sobbing, as I explain about the vast numbers of animals dying in shelters across the country, as I describe the condition many of these animals are found in. I wonder if they really heard me...

I want to quit!   It is not like I don't have enough rescues of my own to worry about___but others have placed dogs improperly and are too far away to witness the problems and therefore don't advise the new owners.

I want to quit!   There ARE some unscrupulous rescues out there___hoarders,  collectors, and folks who will shortchange the care of the animals to make a dollar. They save them all, regardless of  temperament, putting fellow rescuers and adopters at risk, but not being truthful.

I want to quit!  I have trusted the wrong people___ had my faith and my heart broken.

I want to quit! AND THEN...My dog, Magnum, lays his head in my lap, he  comforts me with his gentle presence___and the thought of his cousins suffering stirs my heart.

I want to quit! AND THEN...One of those 500 emails is from an adopter.  They are thanking me for the most wonderful dog on earth. . .  they cannot imagine life without their friend their life is changed, and they are so grateful.

I want to quit!  AND THEN...One of my adopted Rescues has visited a nursing home. A patient that has spent the last few years unable to communicate, not connecting . . . lifts her hand to pat the soft head in his lap, softly speaks his first words in ages. . .  to this gentle furchild.

I want to quit! AND THEN...A Good Samaritan has found and vetted a lost  baby, "I can't keep him, but I'll take care of him until you find his forever home."

I want to quit! AND THEN...I get an email from a fellow rescuer, Haven't  heard from you in a while . . . you OK? You know I think of you often ....."

I want to quit!   AND THEN...A dozen rescuers step up to help, to transport, to pull, and to offer encouragement. I have friends I have never seen, but we share tears, joys, and everything in between. I am not alone. I am blest with family of the heart, my fellow Rescuers. Just days ago it was a friend who shared her wit and wisdom, whose late night email lifted my heart. Sometimes it is friends who only have time to forward you a smile. There are Rescuers who see a flailing transport and do everything they can do to find folks to pull it together for you.    Rescuers who'll overnight or foster your Dog while you seek transport. There are Rescuers not used to or comfortable with your breed, but who put aside their discomfort to help. There are Rescuers whose words play the music of our hearts. Foster homes that love your Rescue, and help to make them whole again . . . body and spirit. Foster homes that fit your baby in, though it may not be their breed. Rescuers whose talents and determination give us tools to help us. Rescuers we call on for help in a thousand ways,  who answer us, who hear our pleas. Rescuers who are our family, our strength, our comrades in battle. I know I cannot save every fluff in need. I know my efforts are a mere drop in a sea. I know that if I take on just one more . . . those I have will suffer.

I want to quit!  But I won't. When I feel overwhelmed, I'll stroke my Magnus's head while reading my fellow Rescuers' emails. I'll cry with them, I'll laugh with them . . and they will help me find the strength to go on.

I want to quit! . . . .. . But not today. There's another email, another fluff needing Rescue.